


Four Times

by The_Lonely_Goddess



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: 3 times Loki wouldn’t answer Frigga and 1 time Frigga couldn’t answer him, Art, Character Death, Feels, Not my art, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 19:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lonely_Goddess/pseuds/The_Lonely_Goddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Loki wouldn't answer Frigga and one time Frigga couldn't answer him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times

**Author's Note:**

> Flames will be used to heat my magical hot cocoa which I shall drink and laugh at how you think you're better than me.

Loki sat curled up in the corner with tears stinging his eyes. “Stupid Thor. He doesn't know anything.” He grumbled to himself.

Thor had decided to be the perfect child again meaning Odin had turned Loki away. Deep inside Loki knew that this cruelty wasn't a normal for a father-son relationship. He was important. He was going to be king... Wasn't he?

"I do matter!" Loki shouted to the empty air, hoping it would relieve some of the pain in his heart. It didn't.

 “Loki?” called a familiar voice.

Instantly the tiny demigod rubbed away his tears so his mother, Frigga, wouldn't see them.

“Loki?” Frigga asked again as she knelt beside her son.

The raven haired child jumped up and folded his arms like the petulant child he truly was. Usually Thor was the one to throw a fit and Frigga was surprise Loki would act so... childishly. “I’m fine.” he said, knowing that his mother couldn't fight his battles for him. Plus if this got back to Thor and Odin his punishments would become something new and he couldn't take that. He could barely take this current amount of ridicule.

“Did Thor say something again Loki?” Frigga’s voice was gentle and understanding.

Loki closed his eyes and tilted up his chin in a clear show of defiance.

Frigga smiled and laughed softly at her sweet, raven-haired child who wasn't even truly hers. She reached up a hand to cup his face. “You can tell me anything min kjære sønn.”

Loki held onto his silence and stood there, fighting the need to hold onto his mother and tell her exactly what Thor had said, but instead he didn't move. He fought his mother’s love with all the strength his tiny body held.

Oh how Frigga wished to lift the pain from her youngest son's heart but there was nothing she could do. A mother's love can heal many things, but it can't help heal someone who doesn't want to be healed.

“I love you Loki.” Frigga smiled pleasantly.

Loki stayed in his room and paced, closely resembling a caged beast. Thor once again was having a feast thrown in his honor while Loki was pushed aside. Loki threw a vase at a wall with a snarl of fury. A shout of rage rose up in his throat but he choked it down. Now was no time to lose control.

He growled to himself and struggled to compose himself, to shove those pesky emotions back down into the depths of his heart that hid from the light of day. No one could ever know his pain or his weakness. He was strong. He was in control. His rule would be remembered for centuries. Emotions do not take hold of a good king. A good king acknowledges his emotions but is not overcome by them. A good king was in control.

“Loki?” his mother’s gentle voice called from the doorway.

“You may enter mother.” Loki said, his voice cool. Funny how the moment his mother arrived pushing his emotions emotion down became less of a struggle and more automatic. Almost like his emotions were cowering from her loving gaze.

Frigga walked over to him, dressed in the foolish garb they forced her to wear for every party. Loki missed the days where she wore her hair down. She always reminded him of a nature spirit with haunting beauty. But now in her age she has been forced to dress more and more elegantly. Yes, she was still beautiful as a queen should be, but it wasn't the same.

“Loki, you should come to the feast. You must be hungry after fighting at Thor’s side.” Frigga said, pulling Loki from his thoughts.

Loki almost smiled at his mother’s words. She seemed to be the only one who remembered that Thor had had people at his side during that fight instead of defeating the enemy single-handedly. Instead of smiling Loki stayed silent and still. If he opened his mouth everything would come pouring out; all of his feelings and all of his fears. He had to keep it all locked away so his strength would be at least placed next to Thor’s. He couldn't go and complain to their mother.

“Loki, please speak to me. I’m here for you.” Frigga said, reaching out to cup her son’s face like she had done in his youth.

Loki grasped her hand, stopping it from reaching his cheek. He closed his eyes. “You should return to the party before someone notices your absence, mother.” He said calmly.

Frigga frowned then nodded. “Alright. If you need anything I am always here. I love you Loki.” Then she left the room in a swirl of skirts.

How foolish he was! To be kidnapped by that bumbling oaf he once called brother. Loki scoffed at his stupidity. He was truly foolish to have been caught by the man conquered by a simple, weak, pathetic Midguardian woman who just so happened to have been easily wooed by his brother's physique. Loki snorted. Weak indeed. 

"Loki?” Frigga asked as she looked through the glass into his cell. “Loki, please tell me it’s not true.”

The now-grown god of mischief looked at her will cool indifference as he coached himself mentally. He didn't care. He never did. He didn't love anyone, especially the people who stole his throne from him after feeding him such lies on gold platters. He should have seen it coming.

 “Loki, I know you wouldn't do such a thing. You are good.”

Oh how he wanted to respond, but he couldn't. That was weakness and no one could ever know about his weaknesses.

The only response he gave Frigga was an icy stare.

Frigga reached out to touch her son’s face, despite the glass in the way, to try and get a response from him. Any response would have done.

Instead, Loki turned away. It didn't matter that she couldn't have touched him. He didn't want her to see the weakness that resided in his eyes.

“Loki, it pains me to see you hurt this way. Please talk to me. I am your mother!” Frigga cried, nearly begging. "I know you wouldn't harm anyone. Not a woman nor a child nor a grown man. You would help the weak. You know what it's like to be hurt! That is where you are different from your brother. You truly understand weakness." tears filled her emerald green eyes. "Loki, you are a good man." Desperation overwhelmed Frigga. "Be the man I know you to be! Please Loki. I raised a wonderful man. You are a good man." 

 _But not a good king_. The unsaid words Loki knew were missing echoed through his head. He would never be king. All that studying. All that training. Wasted. All because they lied to him! 

Loki's fists trembled as the pain of their lies hit him again.

The silence was almost physically painful for the both of them. Loki head a soft sigh then the sound of the door of his cage shutting. He sighed audibly and returned to waiting for his sentencing.

Frigga put a hand to the cool glass with tears sparkling in her eyes. “I love you Loki.” She whispered before leaving, her skirts twisting around her ankles.

Loki walked along the path, not caring that he still wore his prison garb. He had to do this. It was all for her. She was his mother and he was her son. Finally, he found the place. Carefully he gathered the stones and laid them out with the pale roses then he pulled out the carving tools made for stone that he had stolen. He carefully carved the symbol he thought fit his mother adequately.

When he had finished he stared at the stone, not recognizing the sting of tears in his eyes before it was too late. The wet droplets soaked his cheeks and his entire body trembled. Then… He broke.

“You said you would always be there!” he yelled. “You lied to me! Why does this family always lie to me?!” he clenched his fists, trying to reign his anger in but it was fruitless. The dam was broken and everything was rushing out. “I never wanted this. I never wanted the guilt!"

Pain slammed into him and his breathing became labored. "Why did you love me? Why?! I was a monster sitting at your table. How could you love a monster? How could you cradle a beast? How? I don't understand." his anger returned with vengeance. "You didn't love me!" he shouted, knowing it was a lie but it was the only explanation. "You never loved me. None of you did. I was a burden upon your shoulders that you could not wait to shove off. You were glad to see me imprisoned because I would no longer dirty your walls with my presence."

His voice softened to a whisper and the truth bubbled up. “I should have been there. It should be me that died! Instead my selfishness and my naivety stopped me from keeping you safe. You’re dead because of me. All because of me.” He fell to his knees and hung his head as his tears dampened the earth beneath him. “Mother, please. Please speak to me. I’m sorry. Do you hear me?! I'm sorry!” violent sobs wracked his body and clawed at his throat.

He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I love you mother.” Then he stood and slowly made his way back to the palace.

 

_I love you Loki._

**Author's Note:**

> The art is thanks to Graphitedoll.tumblr.com Go check her out!  
> Have a wonderful day/night!  
> The Lonely Goddess


End file.
